Cold Reading Summary (C20): Universal Desires with Presuppositions

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We’ve already talked about universal desires (sex, money, validation, and increased social status).

We’ve also covered cause and effect statements and presuppositions.

In this chapter you will bring them all together.

Imagine you have just met someone and they are thinking about getting a new car. A very simple cause-effect statement might be:

If you get that new suit (cause) then you will attract more women (effect: sex), people at work will look up to you (effect: social status), and you’ll make more sales (effect: money).

We all want more money, sex, and social status, which are ingrained in us; however, in certain social circles, being blatant about our desires often has the opposite effect.

For example, being known as a player can often put women off, and if a customer senses that all you want is the commission, they will often be put off a sale.

The act of posing as if we 'don’t want' these desires is so ingrained in many of us that we actually believe we don’t want those things. 

To be a good cold reader, you must accept 100% that sex, money, and social status are what everyone (including yourself) wants deep down inside, whether they believe it or not.

Once you have accepted that everyone wants sex, money, and social status, all you need to do is figure out how to imply to others that they will get it as a result (effect) of whatever you are offering (cause). You need to show them that these things are available (as an effect), but not the main reason.

You do this by showing them that they will get these things as a result of their genuine and openly recognized accomplishments.

People want honest validation and appreciation for their efforts, so you must give it to them, and when you do so in a clear way, the effects of sex, money and social status will be implied. 

Finishing this project (cause) is a big contribution to the company. Once you do that, it will lead to you doing more fantastic things (effect).

For most people, the simple combination of making a contribution with the vague idea of it leading to doing fantastic things is all that’s needed for your target to start filling in the blanks with universal desires. For example:

• …and everyone will appreciate you for it (social status)

• …and you’ll get that promotion/raise (money)

• …it will impress the new office girl (sex)

The best cause is one that is based on the idea of uniqueness. Fortunately, this is relatively easy to discover, and it isn’t really that unique. 

All you need to do, through general conversation, is find out something they achieved or got through which they perceived as difficult and perhaps wanted to quit. 

For example:

• Have they ever taken a hard class in college? 

• Competed at a somewhat high level? 

• Trained for something difficult? 

• Had a bad break-up? 

• Did someone close die?

Remember, you are looking for something they perceive as difficult, not necessarily something you would find difficult.

Once you have found their difficult thing, link it to their ability to get through hard times to the current situation, which then links to their future of making a contribution and doing something fantastic. 

Here are some sample lines:

• I bet that was hard and you felt like quitting

• I’m not sure why, but you don’t seem like someone that gives up easily. (The notion of not giving up easily is something that most people believe is true about themselves.)

• Once you finished, you probably felt good about yourself (Barnum statement)

• People like you don’t quit.

• It’s people like you that go on to make contributions to society that others simply can’t (uniqueness)

• I think you are going to do something fantastic one day

Think of all the interactions where you would have liked to use cold reading. Write down what the person said, what they want, and then go through the list of presuppositions and add in as many cause effect statements as you can.

Read the next chapter here.

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