She Comes First Summary (P2 C41): Orgasmic Vocabulary

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Let’s have a little fun with words while diving into the fascinating territory of the female orgasm. Along the way, we’ll expand our vocabulary and, hopefully, our understanding too.

Definition: Rabelais was a French humorist and satirist. “Rabelaisian” refers to something bawdy, exaggerated, or humorously over the top.

In this context: It comes down to one question—“Is she faking it?”

The best way to know if a woman is faking an orgasm is to first recognize the real thing. Here are some visible signs of arousal during the pre-orgasmic phase:

• Faster breathing

• Rising body temperature and heart rate

• Muscular tension (hypertonicity)

• Tightening of the abdominal muscles

• Throbbing PC muscles and an overall “bearing down” sensation in the pelvic area

As climax approaches, look for pelvic thrusting—spasmodic, involuntary contractions of the genital area. During orgasm, the vagina and uterus contract an average of 10–15 times, each lasting less than a second. Her sphincter contracts too. On average, the female orgasm lasts 10–20 seconds.

And here’s a broad generalization worth noting: the screamers and thrashers are often the fakers.

Definition: A helper or assistant.

In this context: That’s you. You are her coadjutor.

When she enters the period of orgasmic contraction, your role is crucial. Stay focused, steady, and consistent.

• Maintain your position—don’t pull away too soon.

• Provide a point of resistance.

• Contain the energy, then tease it out slowly with long, fluid pulses.

Above all, finish what you started. Wait until she’s truly done.

Many women require persistent, uninterrupted clitoral stimulation even through climax. If you stop too early, the orgasm may fizzle out abruptly.

Remember, the female orgasm often builds in smaller waves of pleasure that seem like orgasms but aren’t the peak yet. The real orgasm breaks that rhythm with an unmistakable spasm or shudder.

Definition: A short musical note played before the main melody—an embellishment that heightens the music.

In this context: Light touches that amplify her orgasmic experience.

About 15 seconds into her orgasmic contractions, introduce delicate variations:

• Playful tongue jabs on her clitoral head

• Gentle, short swipes—think feather-light tickles

Don’t overdo it. Five strokes are plenty. The idea is to go against the grain of her orgasm, adding a teasing counterpoint that deepens the pleasure.

Definition: Full of twists and turns.

In this context: The ambiguity of whether she’s fully satiated or not.

Sometimes, despite your best efforts, a woman may not be able to orgasm through cunnilingus. This can happen for several reasons:

• Her body relaxes

• Breathing slows

• Contractions fade

Keep stimulating her until she reaches the point where your touch becomes almost unbearable. Often, she’ll let you know—by placing a hand on your head, gently pushing you away, or simply pulling back.

Read the next chapter here.

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