She Comes First Summary (P1 C12 + 13): Female Ejaculation

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Women do ejaculate, but not in the same way men do—and not nearly as often.

While male ejaculation is typically expected during sex, the same isn’t true for women. In fact, female ejaculation is relatively uncommon, and when it does happen, it looks and functions very differently.

Fortunately, for women, ejaculation is not required for orgasm and doesn’t play a significant role in sexual pleasure. So if it doesn’t happen—no stress. It’s not a sign that anything is wrong.

If you’re looking to improve the quality of orgasms, your time is better spent strengthening your pelvic floor muscles through Kegel exercises. These muscles are directly involved in sexual sensation and climax, and a stronger pelvic floor can lead to more intense, satisfying orgasms.

While vaginal lubrication usually begins shortly after stimulation, it’s not a guaranteed indicator of arousal. Sometimes a woman can be very turned on and still not produce much natural lubrication. Other times, she might be physically lubricated without feeling mentally or emotionally aroused.

This is because natural lubrication is influenced by a variety of factors—hormones, diet, hydration, stress levels, medications, and more.

Moral of the story? Communication and context matter more than moisture.

The clitoris is far more complex than many people realize. In fact, it has 18 distinct parts, most of which are internal and not visible to the naked eye. Here’s a summary:

1. Front commissure – Where the outer lips (labia majora) meet at the base of the mons pubis.

2. Glans – The visible head of the clitoris.

3. Inner lips (labia minora) – The thinner folds of skin surrounding the vaginal opening.

4. Clitoral hood – A protective fold of skin that covers the glans.

5. Frenulum – The point where the outer edges of the labia minora meet just below the clitoral head.

6. Fourchette – Where the labia minora meet beneath the vaginal opening.

7. Hymen – Or its remnants, typically visible just inside the vaginal opening.

8. Clitoral shaft – Connects the glans to the internal legs.

9. Crura (legs) – Two wishbone-shaped bodies of erectile tissue.

10. Bulbs of the vestibule – Two large, spongy structures that swell during arousal.

11. Urethral sponge (a.k.a. G-spot) – A spongy area on the vaginal ceiling.

12. Paraurethral glands (Skene’s glands) – Often referred to as the female prostate, these produce female ejaculate.

13. Vulvovaginal glands (Bartholin’s glands) – These secrete a small amount of lubrication near the vaginal opening.

14. Perineal sponge – A dense network of blood vessels beneath the perineum.

15. Pelvic floor muscles – Support the pelvic organs and play a key role in orgasm.

16. Suspensory and round ligaments – Help anchor and support internal structures.

17. Pudendal nerve – The primary nerve that carries pleasure signals from the clitoris to the brain.

18. Blood vessels – These increase blood flow to the area during arousal, causing swelling and heightened sensitivity.

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