She Comes First Summary (P1 C14 + 15): The Story of Arousal

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Arousal follows a specific process—like a story with a beginning, middle, and end.

Think of the clitoral network as a cast of characters that appear and exit according to the unfolding plot. Each part plays a role in building and releasing sexual energy.

Here’s the basic storyline: the body and mind are activated, sexual tension builds to a peak, climax occurs, and then the body returns to a state of relaxation.

Each stage of this story depends on the successful completion of the one before it. In this book, we call the journey the “play process,” which unfolds in three stages: foreplay, coreplay, and moreplay.

These stages might play out over a few minutes—or take hours. The only rule? The process must remain uninterrupted.

Foreplay prepares the mind and body for sexual response. It’s the opening act that sets everything in motion. During this phase:

• Hormones and neurotransmitters are released into the bloodstream.

• Blood flow shifts toward the pelvic region.

• Skin becomes more sensitive to touch.

• Breasts may swell.

• Nipple stimulation triggers oxytocin, enhancing pleasurable sensations throughout the genital area.

• The vulvovaginal glands produce a thick fluid that acts as natural lubrication.

• The clitoral head emerges from beneath its protective hood.

Coreplay is all about building—and then releasing—tension. It’s the peak of the story, where the body is fully engaged:

• Muscle tension increases throughout the body, raising heart rate, blood pressure, and respiration.

• The vaginal entrance narrows while its inner canal expands.

• The clitoral body (shaft, legs, and bulbs) stiffens and elongates.

• Spongy tissues of the clitoral cluster swell.

• The clitoral head becomes highly sensitive and retracts into its hood in preparation for orgasm.

When the tension reaches its peak and is released through orgasm, the vaginal walls, pelvic floor, and sphincter muscles contract rhythmically—producing waves of intense pleasure.

Moreplay is the return to a relaxed, pre-aroused state. It usually takes at least five minutes for a woman’s genitals to return to baseline.

Unlike men, women don’t experience a refractory period. With a little stimulation, the entire play process can begin again.

During this resolution phase, men often feel sleepy. Women, on the other hand, may crave more connection and intimacy. The perfect compromise? Drift off to sleep with her wrapped in your arms.

Read the next chapter here.

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