The Art of Seduction Summary (P2 C10): Sow Confusion With Words

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The best way to make people listen is to say things that they want to hear. 

It doesn’t matter if you are speaking to 1, 100, or 1000 people. Always ask yourself, “What can I say that will have the most pleasant effect on my listeners?”

Many people think that being persistent and lavishing their target with romantic gestures will win their affection, but all they are doing is displaying impatience and insecurity.

The problem with this type of aggressive attention is that it isn’t personalized. The letter, on the other hand, is extremely personalized.

The written word may seem old fashioned, but it still contains immense power. Maybe even more so these days since it is a rarity.

There is a right way to incorporate letters in seduction.

Wait a few weeks after your initial contact with your target before sending the first letter. You must let them get an impression of you. Then, when you sense that they are thinking of you, give them the first letter. 

Gradually make your letters more frequent. More frequent than even seeing them in person.

Once you think you have them, pull back. Send your letters less frequently to stir doubt and tension in their mind.

When writing a letter, make everything you write relate back to your target. 

Write as if they like you, even if they don’t. 

Never argue, defend yourself, or badmouth them. 

Focus on feelings, but don’t gush about how you feel about them. Rather, suggest the effect they have on you. You are not trying to express yourself. You are trying to get them emotional. You want them to feel confusion and desire. 

Never lecture or explain yourself. Disordered thoughts are exciting.

When your target starts to mirror your thoughts and words, it’s a sign that your letters are taking effect. 

This is when you can progress physically and sexually. 

Start to weave sexual connotations into your letters. Also, make them shorter but more frequent and more disordered. Use unfinished thoughts that your target will fulfil with their imagination.

Most of us are self-absorbed. We say the first thing that comes into our heads, and it’s usually about ourselves. 

In order to seduce another, you must break this habit. Control the urge to say whatever pops into your mind. Use your words to confuse and delight as opposed to expressing your personal opinions.

Say things that will please your target — promises and flattery aimed at your target’s insecurities. 

Let your target know that what you admire about them is what they think they lack. 

Another thing that people find extremely pleasant are promises of a wonderful future. Make the promise something relatable, possible, and targeted to your target’s problems and fantasies. However, don’t make them too specific. The idea is to stir up dreams.

Argument is the most anti-seductive language there is. If you want to persuade people, don’t argue their opinions. Use humor and a light touch instead.

Appeal to their hearts rather than their heads. Stir up emotion in them since emotional people are easier to persuade.

Your aim is to stir up strong emotions. Things like friendship and disagreement are weak. Love and hate are strong.

And of course, you must feel some of the emotion you are trying to bring out in your target. Emotions are contagious. Use your past experiences to conjure up your desired feelings.

You can implant ideas simply by repeating them often. When you do this, and even when not, use bold, affirmative statements. 

Starting a sentence with “I believe”, “perhaps”, “in my opinion”, etc. is weak. Don’t hedge.

A statement like “they’ve really messed things up” is much better than “I don’t think they made a good decision.”

Your words should never really mean anything concrete. You are using them to evoke emotion. The feelings they conjure up are more important than what they are supposed to stand for.

Be ambiguous and vague. Keep them guessing.

Often, silence is the best tool.

Read the next chapter here.

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