She Comes First Summary (P1 C17 + 19): We’ve Come a Long Way

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As more men grow attuned to the importance of the female orgasm, many are starting to realize that intercourse alone often doesn’t cut it. That’s why cunnilingus is becoming an increasingly common part of the sexual repertoire. It’s intimate, attentive, and for many women, essential to reaching climax.

But while focusing on your partner’s pleasure is admirable, it’s equally important to be mindful of your own health—and hers.

Let’s get one thing straight: oral sex is not a free pass from sexually transmitted diseases (STDs). If you’re casually giving or receiving oral sex in an unprotected setting, you’re willingly placing yourself in a high-risk category for STD transmission.

Yes, that includes mouth-to-vulva and vulva-to-mouth contact. STDs like herpes, HPV, gonorrhea, syphilis, and chlamydia can all be spread this way—often without visible symptoms.

People with multiple sexual partners are more likely to be exposed to STDs. And here’s the thing: if your partner has had many partners, statistically speaking, their partners probably have too. It’s a chain reaction. The more links in the chain, the greater the risk.

One of the simplest and most powerful tools you have is honest communication. When you’re with someone new, have a candid conversation about sexual history, testing, and protection. It might feel awkward in the moment, but it builds trust—and can help both of you stay safe.

While condoms are widely known and commonly used for protection, dental dams are less popular—and, admittedly, a bit trickier to introduce into the moment. They’re thin sheets of latex or polyurethane designed to act as a barrier during oral sex.

Dental dams can reduce sensation and potentially diminish pleasure for the woman. That’s why it’s often up to the man to take the lead in making their use feel natural and non-intrusive.

Read the next chapter here.

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