She Comes First Summary (P1 C20): The Cunnilinguist Manifesto

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As we conclude Part 1 of this book, let’s take a moment to recap the most important takeaways so far—before we explore the specific oral techniques coming up in Part 2.

• Every woman is different, and her arousal is not something to rush. Honor the process.

• Focus on shared enjoyment—not just the finish line.

• Understand the clitoris not just anatomically, but emotionally and energetically.

• From beginning to end, your attention matters.

• There is more to intimacy than what conventional scripts have told us.

• Leave assumptions at the door. Show up with curiosity and presence.

• Be patient, respectful, sensitive, and tender.

• Take a pleasure-oriented, not goal-oriented approach. This is not a race. It’s an experience.

• Treat each act as a unique process of giving and receiving, knowing and learning.

• Give yourself seriously, generously, and wholeheartedly—even in casual relationships.

Of course, this isn’t all up to you. A woman may feel nervous or self-conscious about receiving oral sex. She might have past trauma, insecurities, or simply not know how to relax into it. That’s where your commitment and patience come in.

To help her let go and feel safe, you’ll need to inspire trust—both physically and emotionally. This is where the “Three Assurances” come in:

1. Going down on her turns you on. Let her know you genuinely enjoy it—it’s not a chore, it’s a pleasure.

2. There’s no rush. She has all the time in the world. You want to be here. You want to savor it.

3. Her scent and taste are powerful, beautiful, and uniquely hers. It all comes from the same essence you’re drawn to. Let her feel that admiration.

If she has fears, insecurities, or resistance—talk through them. Communication isn’t a side note. It’s a vital part of intimacy. A little openness goes a long way.

Read the next chapter here.

Buy She Comes First here: https://amzn.to/450RHui