Cold Reading Summary (C11): Eliciting Ideas

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The easiest way to make a sale is essentially a two-step process:

1. Find out what someone wants.

2. Give it to them in exchange for money.

This sales strategy seems obvious, but it is not commonly used for various reasons.

There are two basic ways people buy things. 

The first way is that they browse what items the shop has to offer and purchase it based on their personal appraisal of what is best for their needs. Think of shopping on Amazon or going to a grocery store. 

The second is when a salesperson ‘sells’ the item to the customer by informing them of things such as features and benefits. Think of a car dealership, a door-to-door salesman, or a salesman contacting clients on the phone. This tactic is normally used for more expensive purchases and/or new items that the customer might not be informed on.

When a salesperson is involved, there are another two basic tactics used. 

The first is with persuasion and charisma. The customer listens to the sales pitch, perhaps has a few objections which the salesman must overcome, and then will decide whether to buy or not. 

The second is when the salesman focuses on the customer’s actual needs and wants. They will ask questions to find out exactly what the customer requires. The salesman will match those requirements with the best product and then describe the product using the same language and criteria the customer originally used. 

This second strategy is very effective, and it is what we adapt for cold reading meta emotions.

When cold-reading meta emotions, the problem you have is how to order or prioritize your target’s emotions. They might be feeling a mixture of anger, frustration, and anxiety, but which is more relatable to them at the time?

One way to get past this is to start with the main emotion they are feeling, e.g., anger, and then include the other emotions too. 

Let’s say you’re with someone and they see some wealthy people which makes them angry (since they themselves are not wealthy). Here is a sample of how you can cover some of the most likely emotions they are feeling:

I can tell you feel angry. It’s like some people have it easy, and never have to worry about money. Others always have to struggle. Sometimes that comes across as anger. Sometimes it comes across as frustration, and sometimes it’s a mix between the two.

Since most people don’t take the time to explore their emotions, by stating them singularly and openly (which comes first, how long they stick around for, etc) in the above fashion, all of them will be recognized by your target.

Stories and music are based on tension and release. A song is a sequence of “unfinished" and “finished” sounds. In a story, good things are followed by bad things, and then back to good things. 

The stronger the tension, the more satisfying the release. 

When you cold read negative emotions, you must always follow up with some positive release.

At any given time, we are all feeling along a spectrum of positive and negative meta emotions. You want to be able to open their meta emotions, pace them, and then bring their emotions back to a positive state.

Think about what types of things you would like to be told to uplift you when you’re feeling certain negative feelings. Going off the above example about feeling angry that you’re not as wealthy as others, perhaps you could say something like:

You will make your mark. There is something about you. Something special. Something you will use one day to make a magnificent contribution to society.

Read the next chapter here.

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