The Art of Seduction Summary (P1 C7): The Charmer

Buy The Art of Seduction here: https://amzn.to/4iFPTM3

The Charmer uses a simple seductive strategy:

They focus attention on their target and avoid drawing attention to themselves.

They steer clear of conflict, rarely complain, and adapt themselves to your mood. You will naturally feel better when you are around a Charmer, slowly becoming more and more dependent on them—and that is their goal. 

The primary weaknesses of almost all human beings are ego, vanity, and self-esteem. These are also the things most people have the least control over. 

As a Charmer, you must target these things in a subtle manner. Make the target the primary subject of conversation. Stroke their ego and watch their powers of reasoning drop.

For charm to work, there must be sexual tension.

For it to be maintained, that tension must not be broken. As a Charmer, you must have the discipline to keep sex at bay, or at least in the background.

Whether charming an individual or a group, these laws apply:

Make your target the center of attention. Let them talk, learn about them, then tailor your flattery to their insecurities and desires.

Be a source of pleasure. Listen to your target and distract them from their problems. Never tell them your troubles, pester, or be overly persistent. Be lighthearted, fun, and energetic.

Smooth out conflict. Be the peacemaker, and avoid conflict yourself. Be humble and unthreatening. Let others think they win and never criticize overtly. 

Adapt to others. Put your targets at ease by mirroring them and adapting to their moods. This will build comfort quickly. Be agreeable and understanding.

Be calm. Never show negative emotions such as anger, jealousy, or vengefulness. These will just make others defensive.

Be useful. Be the connector of people. You want people to feel that by knowing you, their lives become easier. But only promise what you’ll deliver. Nothing makes enemies out of friends faster than an broken promise.

Show gratitude. When someone does you a favor, let them know you appreciate it.

Treat others well. The way people act is often shaped by the way they are treated, so treat them well. Disregard gossip and rumors and find out for yourself.

Becoming a Charmer can be boiled down into two general rules:

1. Focus on the other person. Almost all of the conversation should be about them and their interests.

2. Be positive. Never show negative emotions (hate, jealousy, narcissism), nag, or complain. Keep it fun, lighthearted, enthusiastic, and uplifting.

You must handle difficult people delicately. If you’re too passive they will take advantage of you, but if you are too assertive they will become defensive. 

The answer is to use seduction and charm. Adapt to their mood and be gracious. Appear to surrender and be patient. Then, when their aggression puts them in hot water (which will inevitably happen), rescue them (if you want) and regain superiority.

Those who don’t require personal validation can be immune to the Charmer. They will view you as manipulative and will try to take you down. To combat this, focus your efforts on charming everyone else. The more allies you have, the less you need to worry about those you can seduce.

You can also express open dislike for someone that attacks you. This itself can be charming. It shows you’re a human with flaws. Just be very selective with this.

Finally, don’t forget that there is a time and place for everything. Learn to switch your charm on and off.

Read the next chapter here.

Buy The Art of Seduction here: https://amzn.to/4iFPTM3