The Art of Seduction Summary (P1 C10): The Anti-Seducer

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Each seductive archetype has its individual characteristics. Some of these characteristics are shared between them. 

But more important than the characteristics they have are the ones they lack.

There are things that are anti-seductive no matter what the archetype. 

Your task is to identify your anti-seductive behaviors and rid yourself of them.

Almost all anti-seductiveness stems from insecurity. 

We all have insecurities. Seduction requires you to overcome them, otherwise you will never have the confidence to seduce another.

Just as you don’t want to become an anti-seducer, you must learn to avoid them. 

They can be hard to spot sometimes, but here are the common traits of the anti-seducer:

• Ungenerous

• Argumentative

• Judgmental

• Oblivious to detail

• Praising you too much and too soon (suffocators)

It’s not uncommon to see one or two of these traits in yourself. Work on ridding yourself of them.

Seduction is a ritual. It takes time and patience. Brutes ignore this. They are only concerned with their own pleasure.

If you think you have come across a brute, make them wait and see how they react.

Suffocators are the ones that fall in love too early. They may confess their love to you before even getting to know you. 

Other possible signs are constant imitation of you and/or never disagreeing with you. These are the ‘doormats’.

Stay away from them at all costs.

Seduction has no room for morality. It is a light-hearted game. The moralizer is too rigid for seduction, and will try to make you a better person. 

Spot them by their endless criticism and judgment.

This may be the most anti-seductive trait of all—cheapness. 

It isn’t just about money. Cheapness signals a person that is unable to let go or take risks. 

Embrace the power of selective generosity. Be more generous with both your time and money, but not excessively. You don’t want to seem like you are trying to buy someone. That’s desperation, not generosity.

These are people who are very self-conscious, which in turn will make you feel self-conscious too. 

A key trait for a seducer is confidence. The Bumbler lacks this.

Words have a place in seduction, but they are secondary to the indirect cues (looks, actions, physical appearance, etc.)

Those who talk too much are often selfish. Do not interrupt or argue with a windbag. It will only make things worse.

Reactors are often those that whine and complain. They are also too sensitive and will analyze your every word. 

Test a Reactor by making a joke at their expense and observing their response. If you see resentment in their eyes, you’ve found one.

Vulgarians are the type of people who will say anything at any time. They don’t think before they speak or act and are inattentive to the details.

Tact, style, and paying attention to details are required traits for any seducer. The Vulgarian has none of these.

During any seduction, there are times when you must pull back a bit. You need to raise doubt in your target’s mind. But don’t go overboard or it will have the opposite effect.

Everyone needs to feel like their own person. Never assume that someone is yours or that they are helpless against your charms. Every seduction takes time. You must prove yourself and win their heart.

The best way to repel an anti-seducer is to use anti-seductive traits on them. 

Since seduction is a game of attention, pay no attention to them. Be indifferent and distant. 

And if that doesn’t work, feign the anti-seductive qualities mentioned before (ungenerous, argumentative, judgmental, etc.)

Read the next chapter here.

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