She Comes First Summary (P2 C22): Foreplay Terms

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Here’s an A-to-Z of terms, tips, and ideas you’ll come across as we explore the art of foreplay. Use them to build anticipation, deepen intimacy, and make every moment count.

Anticipation: Create a strong sense of expectation. A little goes a long way—think a hushed phone call from work, a whispered word over dinner, or a glancing touch on the nape of her neck. 

Avoid: During foreplay, avoid direct contact with her genitals for at least ten minutes. Focus on other areas of her body first. Save the genital kiss for last—it’ll be worth the wait.

Awareness: Stay tuned in to her responses. Each moment builds on the last, creating a seamless and connected experience.

Bath, a: Cleanliness matters. A shared bath or shower can be part of foreplay, transforming any pre-date jitters into a romantic, intimate ritual.

Beard: Unless you have a full, soft beard, consider shaving—stubble can be abrasive on sensitive skin.

Body, hers: Skin is our largest sexual organ. Treat her whole body as one big erogenous zone.

Breasts: Breast fondling often excites men more than women, but many women still enjoy it. Every woman’s sensitivity differs—start gently and pay attention to feedback.

Breath: Skip brushing and flossing right before—you could cause micro-cuts in your mouth. Opt for a mild mouthwash instead.

Breathing, hers: Her breath rate and abdominal contractions are often stronger indicators of arousal than wetness.

Candles: Men often prefer light, women often prefer dark. Candlelight is the perfect middle ground.

Communication: Use both verbal and physical communication. Keep it positive and constructive.

Fantasies: Women tend to fantasize in more situational or narrative ways, while men often focus on the visual or graphic. That said, there’s plenty of overlap in the kinks both enjoy.

Fantasize, together: Weave a story into your foreplay or read one aloud together.

Fantasize, separately: It’s fine if she keeps some fantasies private—even if she thinks about them while you’re together. 

Fantasy vs. Reality: Some fantasies are best left as just that—fantasies. 

Fellatio: Receiving oral isn’t a green light to climax during foreplay. If you love to finish that way, consider a ‘taster’ now and save the finale for later.

Fingers, stimulation: When the time is right, use the right blend of pressure, motion, and rhythm. Keep fingernails trimmed and smooth.

Hair, pubic: Her grooming style is her choice—respect it.

Kissing: According to Tantra, a woman’s upper lip is one of her most erogenous zones. Cunnilingus can be thought of as an extended, full-body kiss.

Language: Many men enjoy dirty talk—some women do too.

Lingerie: Admire it before you remove it. Good lingerie is costly—don’t rip it in a rush.

Lubricant, artificial: If she doesn’t lubricate easily, don’t take it personally. Saliva works well for oral play. Otherwise, opt for a water-based option like Astroglide.

Massage, foot: A foot massage is an underrated erotic touch. Keep both hands on one foot, working the entire area with steady, connected pressure.

Masterbation: No two women masturbate the same way, but many focus on the clitoral head and avoid it right after orgasm due to sensitivity.

Masterbation, shared: Watching each other can be deeply intimate and a great way to learn what she likes. Let her know you find it arousing and educational.

Music: Music can set the pace and help you both relax and connect. Choose tracks that let you synchronize with each other.

Orgasms, multiple: If she climaxes during foreplay, switch to gentler stimulation—like kissing or cuddling—before moving into coreplay.

Penetration: During missionary, try barely entering her and letting your penis rest inside. Explore shallow thrusts with your thumb on her clitoris, or press the shaft against her clitoris without entering. Slow penetration paired with her Kegels can also be incredibly intimate—pay attention to every muscle movement.

Porn: While many men enjoy porn, plenty of women do too—especially films made for women, like those from Femme Productions, which focus more on story, foreplay, and activities women enjoy.

Style: Don’t try to put on a performance—authenticity wins over showing off.

Ties: Soft bondage is a popular and easy fantasy to explore, but if you’re new to it, err on the side of safety.

Time: Never rush the build-up. Take your time—the climax will be better for it.

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