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This post is a She Comes First summary. Specifically, it is a summary of Part 1, Chapter 4: The Female Orgasm: Keep it Simple, and Chapter 5: The Tongue is Mightier Than the Sword.
She Comes First was written by Ian Kerner. This chapter summary was written by Sam Fury.
There are many different opinions about the types of female orgasms — clitoral, G-spot, vaginal, and so on. Clitoral orgasms are often downplayed, sometimes even dismissed as less “substantial” than the others.
But here’s the truth: if you understand the female anatomy, you’ll realize that all orgasms are clitoral orgasms.
During intercourse, when you hear those beautiful moans of pleasure, you might assume you’re hitting some mysterious spot deep inside her. But most of that pleasure comes from stimulating the internal structure of the clitoris, which surrounds the vaginal opening.
Bottom line: there’s no need to stress over whether it’s a G-spot, vaginal, or clitoral orgasm. They’re all clitoral in the end.
Here’s something most men don’t realize: most sexual positions — especially missionary — don’t adequately stimulate the clitoris.
Even in positions that do a better job, many men lack the precision and control needed to guide their partner to climax with just their penis.
That’s where your tongue comes in.
It gives you far more precision, and there’s zero risk of finishing too soon. It’s one of the most effective tools you have.
Plenty of men enjoy giving oral sex but stop too soon — usually because they treat it as just foreplay.
Here’s a shift in mindset: oral sex shouldn’t be the warm-up act. It can (and should) be the main event.
So when you’re going down on your partner, don’t stop halfway. Keep going until she cums at least once.
Becoming great at cunnilingus is like mastering any other skill: it takes knowledge and practice.
Start by learning the right techniques — like the ones in this book. Then apply them with care, patience, and a genuine desire to please.
Be present. Be loving. And most of all, enjoy the moment.
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