She Comes First Summary: Appendices

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Here I combine all the summaries of the appendices from the book She Comes First.

Start by lying side by side, flat on your backs. Drape your arm across her abdomen so your wrist rests comfortably on her pubic bone. This allows you to stimulate her for extended periods without fatigue, while encouraging focus on external, rhythmic touch instead of blunt penetration.

Begin with one finger, tracing the outline of her labia, stroking her thighs, and teasing her vaginal entrance with feather-light “come hither” motions. Circle her clitoral head softly, then approach from underneath (the frenulum) with short strokes, or brush down from above with your fingertip.

Progress to two fingers: squeeze the clitoral head gently, then insert them inside, pressing up against her pubic bone to massage the nerve-rich area behind the head. Add a third finger if she’s ready, and make quick side-to-side motions for deeper stimulation.

Alternate by pressing your palm flat against her vulva, letting her grind into it. This takes pressure off your hands and tongue—remember, you don’t always need to provide all the movement.

Switch positions occasionally, or have her lie on her stomach while you stimulate from above. Take your time and let arousal build slowly. Strong “working hands” matter less than patience and rhythm.

Restraint should never cause pain or danger—it’s about trust and teasing. Use soft materials like scarves, ribbons, or Velcro cuffs. Tie her hands separately or together above her head (never behind her back), or tie her ankles so she can shift positions while remaining bound.

A few ground rules:

• Never tie the neck or obstruct breathing.

• If gagging, use a strip of cloth across the mouth—never stuff anything inside.

• Never leave her helpless and unattended.

• Keep sessions short and always respect boundaries.

Agree on a safe word or signal so she can stop the experience instantly if needed.

Have her lie near the edge of the bed with legs dangling. Kneel with a pillow under your knees and focus fully on oral without the body contact that might trigger early ejaculation.

Instead of being between her legs, straddle one leg and rest your penis against it. With some massage oil, you can rub gently during the session to maintain arousal.

When using a dental dam, she’ll feel vibration and pressure rather than direct wetness. Use firmer, deeper motions, applying your tongue, gums, and even teeth. For example, press the flat of your teeth lightly against her clitoral head instead of a soft lick.

The biggest barrier isn’t physical—it’s mental. Commit to the experience and she’ll feel it.

Period sex can make some people self-conscious. Hygiene matters: she can insert a fresh tampon and clean her vulva with a warm cloth beforehand. Most techniques still apply, though you should be mindful of the slightly higher risk of STI transmission.

Cunnilingus is safe during pregnancy unless a doctor advises otherwise. In the second trimester, avoid having her flat on her back for long periods. Instead, use a pillow to tilt her hips slightly. Pregnancy often heightens orgasm intensity, so take advantage of it.

Expect thicker lubrication and a stronger scent—nothing unusual, but be sensitive and adapt.

A vibrator can be a powerful complement, acting as an extension of your fingers and tongue. Use a small one and keep it on low speed. Insert it just inside her vaginal entrance—no need to go deep. Focus on her clitoral cluster with short, shallow thrusts.

For added intensity, slide your fingers beneath the vibrator and press up, massaging the cluster while the vibration amplifies the sensation.

Read the first chapter of The Storyteller’s Secret here.

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