The most powerful thing you can do to be more attractive can be summed up in three words.

Don’t. Be. Needy.

A non-needy man is one who takes control of his destiny. He is unfazed by competition and indifferent to women who are not interested in him.

His actions and words are in alignment with his values and desires. He has strong boundaries and high self-esteem. He does things because he wants to, not because he thinks that’s what others want him to do.

A non-needy man does not try to please everyone. He is aware that not everyone will like him or his opinions, and he is fine with that.

And this is what women want. They want a man who knows who he is and what he wants to become and who lives his life accordingly.

Men can tell when someone is needy, but usually only if they are very needy and show it outwardly.

Women, on the other hand, can sense neediness even when a man thinks he is hiding it. They can sense the needy intentions behind a man’s behavior and words.

Neediness in a partner may be an undesirable trait for a man, but it is a deal-breaker for women.

A woman needs to feel comfortable and secure with a man she meets, and she won’t feel that if the man himself is insecure and needy.

A non-needy man does not sacrifice himself for someone else more than they do for him, but this does not mean you should only care about yourself.

Someone that only cares about themself is a narcissist, and narcissism is toxic for relationships.

When you find a girl you are attracted to, investing in her is the right thing to do. Just don’t put her needs and desires over your own.

Needy men only care about what others want. Narcissistic men only care about what they want. Non-needy men look for how the needs of both people can be met. It’s about having respect for yourself and for women. Take care of yourself and those who are important to you at the same time.

You’re out with friends, being a non-needy man, and notice that a girl is showing interest in you. You think she is cute so you ask for her number.

The two of you go for a walk in the park and chat to get to know each other. After a while you may realize she’s not for you and go home. Or you may like her and decide to get ice cream.

If at any stage in this process you get rejected, it doesn’t matter. In fact, you are dodging a bullet. Why would you want to be with someone that doesn’t find you attractive?

Have an attitude of low-investment. Whatever happens is fine.

Pick-up lines, canned routines, and the like are only short term solutions.

Instead, working on yourself is the key to long-term success in relationships. Once you conquer your anxiety, shame, self-hatred, and all other insecurities, not only will you be more content, you will also be much more attractive.

You don’t need fancy techniques. You just need to change your mindset about women and work on self-improvement.

Read the next chapter here.

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