Bargaining for Advantage Summary

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Bargaining for Advantage offers a strategic guide to mastering negotiation, emphasizing the importance of understanding your personal style, setting clear goals, and leveraging various tactics to achieve favorable outcomes. 

It explores the nuances of effective communication, ethical considerations, and relationship-building to help readers become skilled negotiators in any situation.

Reflect on your negotiation style. Understand how your upbringing, gender, and culture influence it. Identify your strengths and weaknesses. Don't be afraid to "bake with the flour you have," building on your talents, not on what others expect you to be. 

Always prepare thoroughly for any negotiation. Set your expectations high, listen patiently, and maintain personal integrity. Your success relies on understanding your communication style and always trying to get better to achieve your goals.

Imagine your biggest dream, then write it down. Goals show you where to go and what you want. If you truly know what you want, you’re more likely to make it happen. Don't settle; you deserve the best you can achieve.

Write down your goal and tell someone; this will help keep you focused and encourage you to do your best. Set your sights high but make sure you can reach them. Believe in yourself and go for it.

Before negotiating, know your standards and why they matter. See things from the other side's point of view. The stronger you are with your argument the more likely you will get what you want. Remember, understanding is strength.

Pick a theme that shows why your argument matters. If they don’t listen, find a friend who agrees with you to back you up. Knowledge is helpful, but showing respect and using their reasoning will take you to your goal.

Be friendly to gain access through friends. Show you are trustworthy with gifts, kind acts, and honesty. Don't rush; take your time to learn. Trust takes a while to build. Follow the golden rule to always be fair.

Don’t let anyone trick you. Don’t trust too quickly. Don’t let anyone take advantage of being nice. If something doesn’t feel right, stop and think. Take a break when talking to a friend about serious business; this might be a trap.

Figure out what the other person cares about to understand them better. Ask yourself, "What can I do to help them, so they help me?" Know why they might say "no." If you know this, it will be easier to make them happy.

Find simple ways to make the other person happy while you get what you need. Look for common ground, not problems. The better you listen, the more likely you will make a deal.

See who needs the deal most; this shows who has the power. Threats aren’t always bad, but being nice is better. Remember that what people think matters more than what is true. Form a group with others to help you succeed.

If they want something, use it. If they are scared of something, calm them. When you have an advantage, use it wisely. The better you understand the other person’s needs, the more likely you will achieve your goal.

Before bargaining, know what's happening and who’s involved. Learn if relationships or the deal itself is most important. Next, figure out how you want to speak with the others involved and decide: should you be face-to-face, or text/email?

Check out the other person's side. Plan your questions in advance. Know how to mix and match different plans. Be ready and on time, or risk failing to get the deal you want.

Get to know each other - this sets the tone. If it’s about relationships, focus on building trust. Ask questions before you start talking. Take time to understand. Do this; then they will respect you.

Next, think about what the other person wants and the value for them. Now show them your power, gently. Being nice doesn’t mean being weak. After this, you can both get what you want.

Before you begin, figure out how to make deals. Is it okay to be bossy, or are they your friend? If you need to be bossy, start high and slowly move down; for a friend, be nice. If you have issues, think fast.

Do not give too much away. If you need people later, don't scare them, try and be nice. When the relationship matters, keep the other side in mind. If you need help - ask.

Lock the deal: Use pressure to push it before people change their minds. When you are near the end- use words like 'Last chance' to push them on. If not go for little wins and use those to make a bigger deal.

Create guarantees or give people bonuses so they will keep their promise. Let the other side know that the deal is solid. If all else fails, it may be wiser to walk away.

Know your rules for what you will/won’t do. Use this to make good plans. If others play dirty, don't join them. Make them know you will not break your rules. Decide your limits and respect them.

If anyone tries to trick you, ask more questions. Trust your gut. If it seems too good, step back. Stop lying if you are able. Respect yourself: It's up to you to be right.

Pick what strategies match both you and your needs. Cooperate or compete based on the situation, while always preparing. Aim high, listen well, and keep your honesty—these will get you far. Don't see everything as black/white.

Make relationships, not fights. Connect to who you're talking to - not just what you want. In the long run, this will be helpful. So be fair; and, if you have some things not going for you, reach out to other people.

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